"Why had Time been so cruel to you??" The words fell soundlessly from his lips. Another wash of tears began to swell within him.

He pressed the small locket to his chest wishing that any moment, he would awaken from this horrible nightmare, and he would be next to the spunky fighter in such complete comfort.

After the war with Ultimecia, He had decided to return to Galbadia. He’d said his Good-bye’s to everyone, though Zell had seemed more upset with him than anybody. He remembered the look in those deep gem like eyes, although everything about him signaled he was happy for Irvine, his eyes held a completely different story, he looked as though Irvine had just broken his heart, and perhaps he had momentarily. As he waited in Balamb’s Train Station, his train had been delayed about ½ an hour. ½ an hour became an hour, and finally an hour became 2. He became fed up and had stormed out of the place. About half way to the docks, someone slammed right into him knocking him and all his belongings to the ground.

"Who the fuck?!?" He had whispered in harsh anger

"Irvine!?!?" He had looked up into the eyes of the smaller boy, he looked as if he’d been crying. Those soft blue eyes carried the very sea itself with them, bringing all the same sparkle, and beauty upon him.
He stood quickly dusting himself off talking of missing his train if he didn’t hurry, and with that had went back to repacking his things. His pace quickened as he watched the train pulling in to the station from there.
He stood quickly taking little time to adjust his hat. He flashed Zell a quick smile

"At least someone came to say G’bye!" He winked at Zell and turned on his heel to run, but just as he’d started his first bound, felt Zell’s strong but gentle grip fasten on his arm.

"Irvine!…" He’d turned with such swiftness that it truly caught Zell off guard

"What Zell! I’ll miss my train at this rate!!" Zell’s blue eyes probed Irvine’s as tears lined up at the bottoms of them.

"Irvine… I… Irvy… I…" By now he’d embraced the taller man, crying softly into his silver/blue vest

"Irvy… Don’t go…" It had caught him completely by surprise, and now Zell’s reaction to him leaving made perfect sense.

"You … You just can’t leave me again Irvy… Time… … it’s brought us back together… … and … …. we can’t just throw it away…" Irvine stood shocked, staring into Zell’s Azure eyes. Irvine remembered everything about there past, he figured Zell had forgotten long ago…

"It’s… the one thing… I never forgot Irvy… … I never forgot you… I couldn’t…"

"Zell… I…" Zell eyes switched from sadness to desperation

"Please Irvy!!!! You can’t tell me you’ve forgotten too!!!… Nobody remembers us except me!!! I…I’ve… began to wonder if it even happened myself… …" Irvine quickly shook his head nearly unable to say anything.

That’s when it started… … … There… on the streets of Balamb…

Irvine dropped his pack and wrapped his arms around the small boy’s waist, lightly whispering

"Yes… I remember … I…… I was convinced you’d forgotten… Please stop crying… I won’t leave… just shhhhh… Please don't cry..." He soothed, trying to stop Zell’s frantic sobbing

Yet, Where time had finally brought the past back together… it had also been there… on those same streets of Balamb… to rip apart so drastically what it had mended…

He heard the strained announcement as he had been on his was toward the Quad,…

~Balamb’s under attack…~
~ send backup immediately…~

The panic that shot through him… had been worse than the pain any gun shot could’ve inflicted upon him. Zell had went home to visit his mother in Balamb, and although a SeeD, attacks were never anything simple for one person alone, especially when they have no time to prepare.

Irvine drove toward the town with blinding speed, he felt his heart pounding in his throat as the two huge predators came into view… Two T-Rexuars had wondered out of the forests and had found the tiny town appealing to attack. He watched as the town grew closer to him, one of the beasts fall down and stay.

He had flung himself from the drivers seat and ran as hard and as fast as he could, his gun faithfully in his hand. The image of a woman came into view some ways up the tiny cobblestone road, she held a high powered rifle in her hands and had let off shot after shot until Irvine was standing right next to her. It was Mrs. Dincht

"What’s going on!?… Where’s Zell?!?" She didn’t look at him but kept blasting away at the giant dinosaur.

"Help me would ya!?" She responded, sweat beaded in her eyes, yet she didn’t dare quit her firing assault.
Irvine took to his gun, barely taking time to aim and joined in the assault. The beast staggered slightly, blood oozed from it’s enormous body, it took one last swing with it’s powerful tail, knocking over the building behind them. Irvine grabbed her and bounded out of the toppling buildings way. And as the smoke cleared, he watched as the beast collapsed in a grueling death.

Irvine scanned the area quickly, looking for him… Until he turned again to his mother, almost afraid to ask her

"Where’s Zell!?" She looked up into Irvine’s eyes bleakly

"The last I saw him, he’d been flung toward the docks… Hope ma’ boy’s alright…" She took the time now to add concern to her voice. Irvine swallowed hard, tipping his hat slightly he took off in that direction. People wandered about cautiously now, nearly crowding out the tiny dock area…

"ZELL!!!" He yelled, he’d almost expected the blond to bounce right up to him, those sparkling eyes piercing his in happiness, and he’d grab Irvine hugging him tight, saying the hug was cause he was so happy to see him, but in reality, cause he’d been scared out of his mind. But, he heard nothing except the waves, and the faint crying.

"ZE---LL!!!" He strained to hear feeling almost a desperation entering his body

" Over here!" Irvine’s head shot up and spotted someone staring at him from across the docks… it wasn’t Zell… Irvine nearly charged through the crowd of people, his throat gaining a bit more than a lump as a tear stung his eye.

He reached the young man at the same time he found what he’d sought… Zell was sitting up against a wall, looking pained slightly with his eyes closed. Irvine fell down beside him.

"Zell!?… Zell!!…. Wake up man! it’s me! Irvy!!" His eyelids twitched as he slowly slid his eyes open.

"Irvine??" His voice was a rough whisper, "What’s goin’ on??" Irvine didn’t answer him…

"Are you okay??" He… …. … looked okay… …

"I’ve… been worse…" Zell grinned slightly

"That doesn’t answer my question dear!" Irvine said half playfully. Zell tried to move and gasped weakly, clenching his teeth to avoid yelping in pain. Irvine zeroed in on Zell’s mid-section covered by both his arms

"Let me see Zell…" Zell looked at him painfully shaking his head slowly…

"I’m gonna help ya Zell, just let me see…" Zell’s eyes were full of tears, he shook his head a little more fiercely this time.

"I… I already know…" His words were hardly whispers lost in a restrained sob.

Irvine laid his hands on Zell’s arms, the boy didn’t argue and just looked away toward the ocean. He let his arms be moved.

"SHIT Zell!! I gotta get you to the doc!" Zell chuckled slightly biting back a moan

"I knew you’d say that…" Irvine cocked an eyebrow

"And why wouldn’t I??" He said lifting Zell up moderately, while trying to ignore Zell’s small whimpers

"Cause…" he breathed softly…, " Most people would’ve taken one look at me and given up hope…"
The sad thing was… Zell was right… His stomach, and most of his right side for that matter had been torn wide open leaving only deepened pools of blood where flesh had once sat.

"Well guess what!! I ain’t given up on your ass!" He quickly removed his trench coat and folded it long wise.

"This is gonna hurt Zell…" He wrapped the folded trench coat around the boy’s mid section and tied it as tight as he could. Zell bit back a terrible scream only releasing a burst full of air.

"Now C’mon!" He picked Zell up and was running back through the crowd, not caring who he knocked over really, He passed his mom and she looked on stunned asking about 500 questions as he ran by…

(Sorry… but… …Time… … is against us…)

Irvine managed to let his professional demeanor take over his personal feelings for the boy laying up against him… It was the only way he was going to be able to get him to the proper place without cracking at the moment… but… even so, he couldn’t remember how he was able to drive and make it back to garden with out killing them both. Or how he’s already managed to be bolting down the small corridor to Kadowaki’s office. But the first thought that registered with him after all that as he burst through the small door was…

"Where in the HELL IS SHE!?!?" Zell had done lost consciousness, he laid him gently on the nearest bed, and panicked… He grabbed the nearest phone and dialed the bridge…

"Ello?" Nida’s voice filtered into Irvine’s ear bringing almost a bit of sanity back to the man…

"Nida! I need you to announce Doc’s got an emergency NOW!!" Nida hadn’t even hung up the phone before Irvine heard his slightly panicked voice ring through the halls.

~ Kadowaki, you have an emergency in your office, report immediately!! ~

"Who is it Irvine??" Nida turned back to the phone
"It’s Zell… He was in the Balamb attack…"
"Oh shit!! is it bad??"
"… … I think so…" Just then Kadowaki entered running instantly spotting Irvine

"What’s up!?" Irvine pointed swiftly toward Zell and turned back to the phone and literally hung up without another word to Nida. He kinda knew he’d have to understand.

"Oh my dear god! what happened here Irvine!?"

"The attack at Balamb, Two T-Rexaur…"

"Oh shit…" she muttered removing the already soaked trench coat… she gasped when her eyes met the gapping wound…

"Will he… be… okay??" Irvine’s sanity had in fact returned now… and his adrenaline ceased… leaving this burning worry within him. Kadowaki said nothing and rushed past Irvine grabbing some items and running back over to Zell. She made Irvine help her remove Zell’s top, letting them both see just how serious this could be… She tilted Zell’s head up with one hand, ripped the cork out of a potion with her teeth and hesitantly poured the blue liquid into his mouth, he only choked on the last few drinks.
Irvine took Zell’s bloodied hand, tears stinging his eyes…

"Why isn’t he waking up?"

"Give it some time, we’ve just started on him dear…"

"But…"

"Hand me another bottle Irvine…" She said hastily to quiet him.
She opened this bottle and lightly sprinkled some of it directly into the wound itself. Zell’s body lifted in pain, a small whine coming from Zell’s lips. Irvine had started crying now, almost unable to move…

"You need to leave Irvine… I’m sorry… but you’re not helping me… so you’re in my way…"

"I… I can’t just leave him!!" he shot back…

"Irvine… it’s okay… I’ve got it… go…" He stood not wanting to anger the doctor or distract her any further… He took a few steps back staring at Zell… his hair matted by sweat to his brow, his eyelids fluttering in pain as Kadowaki poured more of the liquid into the wound. The doctor turned to him in slight agitation.

"Irvine, wait outside okay?!…" He turned on his heel striding out of the room, he barely got out the door before he collapsed, not quiet knowing how to feel… or what to do…
Zell had to make it…
… he’s a SeeD!
SeeD’s are the toughest force on earth!
AND not only was he a SeeD! but he had been part of the obstruction of Ultimecia!! So… this… should be nothing… right??

"Irvine?" He heard the voice, but ignored it still lost in his thoughts… His head was swirling, too many thoughts… too many worries… too many feelings… Irvine’s eyes closed as he laid his head back…

"Irvine!!?"

Irvine stood there in the mist wondering where in the hell he was… A dream?? obviously…

"Irvine!" Irvine turned around swiftly…
Zell???

He watched the much younger boy run up to him crying.

"You can’t go!! you can’t!!" The boy suddenly seemed about his height, and he realized as he reached out to hug the still smaller boy that he too had resorted back to his child-hood smallness. And was reciting words as if from a book…

"I’ve got too Zell… if I don’t… who’s gonna protect everybody!! Who’s gonna protect sis??"

"Sis can take care of herself!! right now, WE need you!…" The boy hugged him tight, crying into his chest

"And I need you…"

"I’ll come back Zell… it’s not like I’m gone forever…" The boy looked up at him almost in defeat…

"But… I don’t want to miss you… and… what if I… forget you or something??" Irvine smiled heartily

"I’ll tell you what…" he reached into his pocket and placed the smallish object in Zell’s hand… He opened his hand and looked at him wide eyed

"But… Irvine!! this… this is your pendant!!" Irvine smiled again warmly

"I know… and I’m giving it to you… so now you can’t forget me!" Zell smiled, hugging Irvine again

"Thank-you…" he whispered…

"Irvine!!?" Irvine’s eyes opened harshly and he found himself staring into rich blue eyes… not quiet like Zell’s… but… almost… mysterious, framed with dark chocolate brown hair…

"S…Squall?"

"What’s going on? are you okay??" Irvine flinched slightly, slowly coming back to realization…

"It’s… Zell, he’s hurt…" Irvine removed his hat laying it gently on the floor beside him. He realized then that not only had Squall waken him up from his temporal faint spell… but… he now had him in a supportive embrace, holding him across the back of his shoulders, cradling him.
"How bad is it??" His voice was concerned, almost a whisper…
"I…I dunno… it looks bad… but… but that doesn’t mean… anything… … right?… I mean… he’s gonna live… … right??" A slight hysteria to grow within him again…

"Let’s hope so…" Squall felt slightly out of place trying to comfort Irvine… But couldn’t help but run to him when he watched him collapse in the small corridor, he’d thought Irvine himself had been injured…

Irvine had started to cry now…
"If… only I’d been there Y’know?"
"How could you know this would happen?" Squall tried his best to calm him down again…
"But… what if… He… doesn’t make it??… … then what do I do?" Squall ran his hand gently through Irvine’s hair.
"You’ve done the best you can do for your friend…" Irvine flinch again when he said it. He wondered if he should even tell him… oh hell… it’s not like it mattered anyway…
"But he’s more than just my friend… I know you don’t remember… but… … he does…"
"I remember more than you think, Irv…" Irvine looked up as Squall smirked slightly… Irvine had to grin too…
"You’re the only one that never straight out called me Irvy…"
" You and Zell were never apart, I think you two even shared beds…"
"I’d always have to pick Seifer off of him… then he’d come after you…"
"I’d always figured it was something… a bit less… innocent? shall I say…"
"It was as innocent as love got…" Irvine mumbled
"God I didn’t think he’d ever stop crying when you left… he’d walk around clutching his pendant, he grew rather distant from the rest of us… and…" Squall smiled…
"And?" Irvine pursued…
"And it was the only time I’d EVER seen Zell beat the absolute shit out of Seifer…"
"What!?!?" Irvine laughed in disbelief…

"Yeah man, Seifer started talking about how he was glad you were gone so now he was free to kick Zell’s ass whenever he pleased… Zell got pissed, told him to bring it on right there… and he royally kicked his ass! Matron had to literally tie Zell down to the bed to make him calm down… … … He missed you that bad!" Irvine felt another rush of tears coming on…

"Want to know the real reason Zell absolutely hates Seifer?" Irvine stared up into Squall’s eyes nodding a bit…
"Cause he’d always, right in front of Zell, wish you were dead, or would soon be died, or that one day… he’d get to kill you…" Irvine looked mildly shocked

"He really didn’t like me did he?" Squall laughed slightly
"It was only cause everyone liked you and not him…"

"Zell just… … he means… way to much to me… " Irvine reached under his vest for a second, pulling out this small silver pendant on a semi long silver chain…

"He gave this back to me… after he came and made me stay here in Balamb…" Squall took the locket examining it closely… he noticed it opened so, outta curiosity… opened it…

The right side held a small picture of the two of them, smiling, hands locked…the other side had been inscribed… saying…

I’ll never understand… … Why you had to die… … I… … I had so much more… … to share… we…… we had so much more to be…

Irvine tried to stifle his cries, clutching painfully to his trench coat, his knuckles flared white, small trickles of blood lied where the skin on those knuckles had broken.

"Irvine… sweetheart… you know as well as I do it would do little good against a injury of this magnitude…"

"Well….T..Then… U…Use a whole slew of them!!!!" Irvine backed up slowly, feeling the tears in his eyes already welling up and streaming down his paling cheeks…

"And Poison him Irvine??" She hadn’t meant to sound so blunt, he was just trying to suggest every option she’d already thought of…

"There’s…. There’s got to be SOMETHING we can do!!!" His voice was barely above a whisper, his eyes looked wild with emotion, his face chalky white. When the doctor said nothing, Irvine’s panic only grew…
"RIGHT!?" She just stared at him sympathetically…
"DAMMIT!! I’M I THE ONLY ONE WHO STILL THINKS HE’S GOT A CHANCE!?!?" He threw his arms up in the air in exasperation, " I WANT TO SEE HIM!"
"I don’t think that’d be good for you Irvine…"
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR ME!?!?" He flew past her even despite her protests…

He burst into the small room much like he had the first time, only now he immediately went to the small bed that held his injured love.

His face was gaunt, pale, almost pasty looking. Irvine instantly started crying as he leaned down beside the bed resting his palm on Zell’s forehead.

"Zell??" He whispered nearly inaudibly… There was no response…
"Zell… listen to me… you can’t leave me, Y’hear!?" He stirred this time, sighing with pain
"D…Dammit…" He wheezed lying his head on Zell’s chest, he ran his fingers through Zell’s golden hair, traced the tattoo on his cheek, and brought his hand to rest also on his chest.
"Y…You’re… gonna make it… Y’hear me Zell??" He repeated the words a thousand times in his mind…

~ You’re gonna make it… You have to make it!… it’s gonna be all right… I know you’ll make it! ~

He guess they’d thought they were talking to low for him to hear… but… it’s… not like it really mattered anyway…

" Kadowaki?, is… there anything? I mean… maybe there’s a chance he’ll just pull through right?"
"Squall dear, I’m not paid to lie to you children… when I don’t think there’s a chance… I don’t think there’s a chance… That boy in there isn’t responding hardly to any treatment I’m giving him, he’s getting whiter by the minute, and the more I try to patch him up, the more there seems to be wrong with the boy… I’m sorry to say it sweet heart. But… … If Zell makes it through the night, I’ll be highly impressed…"

Irvine took a deep breath…
So… this was it then?… time laughed around him as it shattered the remains of Irvine’s Life…
Irvine lifted his love slightly, embracing him in a sorrowful hug…

" Time… Why are we being taunted by the very thing we busted out asses to protect…" He looked into the paleness of Zell’s face, even his lips seemed to be void of true color, misty rose tinted. Irvine sighed heavily again…

"Then this would be good-bye?…" He leaned his head down to Zell’s lips barely pressing there lips together. He let there kiss linger slightly, hesitant to move away… Yet, finally he stood. He instantly let his hand close around the locket hanging on his chest. With a swift tug he almost felt the small silver clasp shatter against his neck. He placed the locket in Zell’s open hand, closing it tightly…
He took a step back, wishing desperately Zell would just let him see his crystal blue eyes one more time… He waited a moment, staring at the now helpless figure that had once stood tall, strong, had been so passionate about so much… Irvine felt tears coming to him again and held them back… it was no use…

"G… … G’bye… … love…" He tilted his hat slightly as if it were just a habit, And when he turned away finally and started running… … he never turned back.

Irvine sat up now, leaned up against the wall, his pony tail hung over his shoulder in unattended tatters of hair dried by soaked tears. He didn’t even bother going to the funeral… He’d said his goodbye… so what was the point in adding to his pain?

He was looking at the locket again… Squall had come by shortly after that… however long ago "that" had been… had it been… days now? hours??… he didn’t care… it didn’t really matter… but… He’d been able to quit sobbing long enough to answer the door, feign being just really tired and slightly sick to accommodate for his terrible appearance and or/ lack off appearance. He knew Squall hadn’t bought it… but didn’t say anything and had come to return his locket.

At first he was mad, wondering why Squall of all people would be dumb enough to not realize he wanted it to go with Zell. But all to soon, he found himself clutching to the small emblem of there love as if in some way… Zell were right there with him through the silly thing. He already held it close to him as if it were the boy himself,

thrown it across his room cause it truly was just a piece of jewelry,
and retrieved the trinket starting his sobs all over again and stuttering apologies to some unknown listener. Many times, people had tried to get him to open his door. Squall, Selphie… Headmaster… they’d all tried… They’d even tried putting in his emergency release code on the keypad by his door. And although that did open the door itself, it didn’t mean they could actually enter his room… The three small bolt locks he’d installed took care of that… They tried calling to him, trying to reason, begging him to open the door so they could talk to him.
What would they say?? We’re sorry?? but you need to get on with your life?? Time to move on??? What if he didn’t WANT to move on!?!? had they thought of that!?!? At one point they’d begun threatening him... they’d beat down the door… cut down the door… do something to the god forsaken door… It pissed him off, he wanted to be left alone!! was that so goddamn hard to ask!? He didn’t care anymore… Didn’t want to care, didn’t want to "re-learn" how to care… it was pointless… He just wanted Zell back… and time wasn’t going to give it to him…

If only he could take time into his own hands… then he’d… …
the thoughts passed through his mind wildly, all being incomplete thoughts, yet seemed so clear within his fogged logic.

"If only I could defy time…" He knew where he was heading with his train of thought… he’d been there many times recently, and each time he revisited… the idea looked better and better…

To escape pain…
to escape what had become his personal hell…
to… escape time and space…
To join Zell wherever he was… and that’s what it all came down to… He just wanted to be with Zell… … And he knew how he could do it… All he had to do… was rebel against the very thing that still held him to where he sat… … … … Time… … …

He’d already heard it had been Zell’s "Time" to go hundreds of times… but that had to have been bull shit… Why had time brought them together only to rip them apart?? was "Time" truly such a cruel bastard??!?
He was holding his weapon again, his trusty Exeter rifle… his link to what he sought so desperately… it was just finding the strength to do what had to be done… He played with the barrel, fingered the trigger several times, and laid the piece back down at his side. He’d then find himself crying again, staring at the small silver locket for who knew how long until he came back around to the same thought again.

A constant cycle of reliving, reopening the fresh wounds, and plunging himself deeper each time into the depths of his already torn out soul.

"W…Why can’t… I do It Zell??" He’d whisper every so lightly to the picture of his beloved…

"Why… can’t I get the strength to be with you??" He went back to clutching the smallish picture to his chest… …

" Irvine??" He gasped and darted his head back toward his door again…
"W…What do you want now??" he choked on the words slightly…
"Irvine… I’m coming in… okay?"
" N…NO!…" Irvine reached for his gun and held it against him… Squall hadn’t given up yet he guessed…
"Please Irvine, just calm down… I just want to talk to you…"
"DAMMIT! Just GO AWAY!!! I’ve got everything figured out!!!… … I… … I just…. … need…. … … strength… …" He slowly aimed the gun at his chest…
"Irvine… please… I know you’re in pain… just… --" Irvine locked the gun and rested his finger on the trigger… this was… … his… strength… he didn’t want to be part of the world anymore… and that’s exactly what the person behind the door was trying to make him do…

"IRVINE??" There was a flash of blue light from behind the door, and the door was kicked inward swiftly… Irvine sat there wide eyed, tears running in endless rivers from his blood red eyes… He tried looking away from the person silhouetted by the golden light of the hallway

He couldn’t do it?? W…Why couldn’t he just pull the trigger!?… why was he so focused on the person walking toward him?? He… He just wanted to die… … he just wanted… to be free…

Time stopped completely… air quit buzzing, light quit glowing, Irvine’s tears quit flowing, the very world had come to a entire halt before him… All except for the figure approaching him…

"Irvine??" Irvine brought himself to look at the person again as they leaned down toward him… His eyes grew enormous and his breath short…

"Z…Zell!????" He started to jump back, but he remained frozen, just like his tears.

"Shhh…" The Golden blond breathed softly ," It’s okay now… I’ll set you free…" The boy slowly took Irvine’s hand, laced his finger around the guns trigger, and, with his hand on top Irvine’s pulled the trigger back swiftly, cleanly.

Instantly… Irvine’s pains were gone. His sorrow replaced by the warmth of that golden glow, his soul enveloped in such deep tranquility. And as he opened his eyes, there, at the center of his new found peace… He saw the shorter boy just standing there, smiling at him. Irvine instantly bounded up rushing to the smaller boy and wrapped his arms around his waist…

"W…We… Did it???" his whisper seemed to echo into nothingness… The boy looked up into his purple/blue eyes… Before whispering himself, hugging the taller boy back…

"Time Will Break… … … What Time Will Mend… … …Yet… Time… Has No Hold Here… And You… … … And I… … … Are Free… … …" He buried his head in the man’s chest, sobbing slightly. Irvine smiled, gracefully lifting the boy’s head till there eyes met again… he probed those glittering blue gems, and leaning down, he kissed them away gently as he whispered…